Oh no. Here it comes again. That aching desire to create a doll. It always leads me to mental dis ease. Is it a coincidence that I accidentally went off some of my meds this week? I wonder.
We've been book purging, which has made me think about my favorite books, which reminded me of a particular book on dollmaking, which ignited this old feeling. I went searching for all my favorite dollmaking books and put them all together in one place. I've never even looked at this Robert McKinley book. I've probably had it twenty years. I think I'll read it now.
I've been gradually changing the way I think about the things I make. I've decided to keep them. This is so freeing. I no longer have to worry about whether someone else will like what I like. I'm the only one whose opinion matters. It has taken a long time to get to this place. I've always given away what I make and I am left with nothing of lasting value.
This goes somewhere. Maybe if I try dollmaking again, for me and not to sell, maybe I can chill out enough to actually finish something.
So I'm going to read this Robert McKinley book on dollmaking and see if it has something that plugs the holes in this silly fantasy world of mine.
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